Virtual Psychotherapy & Grief Counseling for Pet Loss in New York
A Goodbye Filled With Love: Euthanasia, Pet Loss Grief, and Healing After Saying Goodbye
Grieving the loss of a pet is a deeply personal and emotional experience. It’s a sign of the profound love and bond you shared, and it’s natural to feel sadness, guilt, or even emptiness in their absence. At Phronetic Psychotherapy New York, we understand that pet loss is real grief, and we’re here to help you navigate it with compassion and support.
Through a personalized and evidence-based approach, we’ll work together to honor your pet’s memory while finding ways to heal and move forward. You don’t have to go through this alone—we’re here to help every step of the way.
We accept most major commercial insurance plans, including Aetna, Wellfleet, Cigna, United Healthcare, Oxford, Oscar Health, Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield, and Carelon Behavioral Health, for residents of New York.
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Clarice Hassan, the founder and CEO of Phronetic Psychotherapy, is a devoted pet parent to a six-year-old Maltese and has long dreaded being on the other side of the therapy couch for this very reason. She understands that while grieving the loss of a human loved one is widely recognized and accepted in society, grieving a pet—whether a dog, cat, fish, snake, or gecko—is often overlooked or minimized.
Over the years, she has supported many patients through the loss of a beloved pet, most commonly dogs and cats. This page primarily focuses on grieving the loss of a dog after euthanasia, as our therapists—including Clarice herself—have the most experience helping individuals cope with these specific losses. However, we fully acknowledge that grief takes many forms and that pet loss is not limited to illness or old age. Some may lose a pet due to an accident or other unexpected circumstances, and we recognize that this guide may not fully address those experiences.
Please know that we see you, we understand your pain, and we are here for you.
How to Make the Most of Your Time With Your Dog Before Euthanasia
A Guide to Saying Goodbye and Coping With Grief
Losing a beloved dog is one of the hardest things a pet owner will ever face. Whether your dog is nearing the end due to old age, illness, or a terminal condition, the decision to say goodbye through euthanasia is heartbreaking but also one of the most compassionate choices you can make.
It’s natural to feel overwhelmed with emotions—grief, guilt, even doubt. But in those final days and moments, you have the chance to give your dog the comfort, love, and reassurance they need. This guide will walk you through how to make the most of your time together, prepare for the euthanasia process, and navigate the grief that follows.
Before Euthanasia: Creating a Meaningful Goodbye
The time leading up to euthanasia is precious. While it’s painful, it’s also an opportunity to make your dog feel loved, safe, and at peace.
1. Give Them Their Favorite Day
One way to honor your dog is by giving them a perfect day filled with their favorite things. Think about what brings them the most joy:
A special meal – Let them have their favorite treat, whether it’s peanut butter, steak, or something they wouldn’t normally get.
Time outdoors – If they’re still mobile, take them to their favorite park, on a short walk, or let them sniff around outside. If they can’t walk, just sitting with them in the fresh air can be soothing.
Cuddles and affection – Some dogs want nothing more than to be near their favorite person. If they love belly rubs or being held, soak in that time together.
Photos and videos – It might be painful, but capturing these last moments can be comforting later.
If your dog is in pain, focus on keeping them comfortable rather than high-energy activities. The goal is to make them feel loved and relaxed.
2. Keep the Atmosphere Calm and Reassuring
Dogs are incredibly intuitive and can pick up on our emotions. While it’s okay to feel sad, try to stay calm and comforting around them.
Speak softly to them. Tell them they’re a good dog.
Use gentle petting or touch to let them know you’re there.
Avoid sudden changes in routine—familiarity helps keep them at ease.
3. Consider Where and How You Want to Say Goodbye
Many vets offer at-home euthanasia, which allows your dog to pass in a place they know and feel safe. This can be a less stressful alternative to a vet clinic, where unfamiliar smells and sounds might make them nervous.
If you choose to go to the vet, bring a blanket, a favorite toy, or something that smells like home to provide comfort.
During the Euthanasia Process: Helping Your Dog Feel Safe
This is one of the hardest moments, but being there for your dog can provide them with a sense of security and peace.
1. Should You Hold Your Dog?
Yes—if it brings you comfort, and if your dog enjoys being held, you absolutely can. Many vets will allow you to:
Hold them in your lap or sit beside them.
Stroke their fur or hold their paw so they feel your presence.
Press your forehead to theirs or simply lay a hand on them for reassurance.
2. What Happens During Euthanasia?
The vet will typically give a sedative first, which will make your dog feel sleepy and relaxed. Then, the final injection will be administered, which painlessly stops their heart. Most dogs pass within seconds, often without even realizing what’s happening.
If staying for the entire process feels too overwhelming, some people choose to stay for the sedation phase and step out before the final injection. Do what feels right for you—there’s no right or wrong choice.
3. What Can You Say in Their Final Moments?
Talking to your dog as they drift off can be incredibly comforting for both of you. You might say:
“I love you so much.”
“You’re such a good boy/girl.”
“I’m right here with you.”
Your voice will be the last thing they hear, and that alone is a gift.
After Euthanasia: Coping With Grief and Honoring Their Memory
The grief that comes after losing a pet is real and deep. Dogs aren’t just pets—they’re family. Here’s how to navigate the first few hours, days, and weeks after saying goodbye.
1. Take a Moment to Say Goodbye
Even after your dog has passed, you may want to spend a few minutes with them. Some people find comfort in:
Holding them one last time.
Talking to them. Saying thank you, telling them you love them.
Letting other pets sniff them. This can help them process the loss, too.
2. Decide on Aftercare
Many vet clinics offer options for cremation (with or without ashes returned) or burial in a pet cemetery. If local laws allow, you may also choose to bury them at home.
Some people find comfort in keepsakes like:
A paw print mold or clipping of their fur.
A personalized urn or memorial stone.
A framed photo or tribute album.
3. Let Yourself Grieve
Losing a dog can feel as painful as losing a person—because the love we share with them is real. You may go through stages of grief, including denial, sadness, and even guilt. Know that grief isn’t linear, and there’s no timeline for healing.
Some ways to process your loss:
Talk about your dog. Share stories with friends or write a letter to them.
Allow yourself to cry. Bottling it up can make grief heavier.
Create a memorial. A photo collage, scrapbook, or even planting a tree in their honor can help keep their memory alive.
Seek support. Pet loss groups, therapy, or even just talking to someone who understands can be helpful.
💡 One important thing: Don’t feel guilty about the decision to euthanize. You gave them a lifetime of love, and when they needed you most, you made sure they didn’t suffer. That’s an act of pure love.
Final Thoughts: A Goodbye Filled With Love
There’s no easy way to say goodbye to a dog who has been your companion, your comfort, and your family. But if there’s one thing to hold onto, it’s this:
Your dog felt loved until their very last breath—and that’s what truly matters.
Resources for Grieving Pet Owners
Pet Loss Support Hotline (ASPCA) – 877-474-3310
The Rainbow Bridge Grief Support Community – www.rainbowsbridge.com
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB) – www.aplb.org
True or False? 6 Myths and Facts About Coping With the Loss of a Beloved Pet
Grief takes many forms—observe with your eyes, connect with your heart, and trust your intuition.
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True. Research shows that pet loss can evoke grief comparable to losing a human family member.
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False. Grief is not linear; people may experience these stages in different sequences or revisit certain emotions over time.
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True. Narrative therapy and storytelling can help pet owners process their loss and keep their pet’s memory alive.
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False. For some, pet loss can cause prolonged grief, and therapy can provide valuable emotional support and coping strategies.
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True. Memorializing a pet can provide comfort and help process emotions in a healthy way.
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False. Grief has no set timeline, and everyone processes loss at their own pace. Some people may grieve for months or even years.
Evidence-Based Grief Counseling Strategies for Coping With Pet Loss
Losing a beloved pet, especially a dog that has been a constant companion, is a deeply emotional experience. Many people underestimate the grief associated with pet loss, but research shows that it can be just as intense as losing a human loved one (Archer, 1997). Below are evidence-based grief counseling strategies that can help you navigate the loss in a healthy way.
Validate Your Grief (Disenfranchised Grief Theory)
Source: Doka, K. J. (1989). Disenfranchised Grief: Recognizing Hidden Sorrow.
Rationale:
Disenfranchised grief refers to grief that is not fully acknowledged by society. Many people don’t understand the deep emotional bond between a person and their dog, which can lead to feelings of isolation or being told to "just get another pet."
Tip: Remind yourself that your grief is real and valid. Losing a pet is a significant emotional loss, and it’s okay to mourn them as deeply as you would a human loved one.
What to Do:
Seek out people who understand pet loss (pet grief groups, online forums, or a therapist specializing in grief).
If someone dismisses your pain, gently remind them, "They were a part of my family. My grief is real, and I need time to heal."
Maintain Connection With Your Pet (Continuing Bonds Theory)
Source: Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. (1996). Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief.
Rationale:
Traditional grief models suggest that healing means "moving on," but research shows that continuing bonds with the deceased can be a healthier way to grieve. This means finding ways to maintain an emotional connection with your pet rather than feeling you must completely "let go."
Tip: It’s okay to keep reminders of your dog as long as they bring comfort rather than distress.
What to Do:
Keep a photo album or a framed picture of your dog in your home.
Create a memory box with their collar, favorite toy, or a fur clipping.
Talk to them—yes, it sounds odd, but speaking to your pet as if they’re still listening can be incredibly soothing.
💡 Example: Some people say goodnight to their pet’s picture every night or write letters to them when they’re feeling sad.
Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms (Dual Process Model of Grief)
Source: Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement.
Rationale:
Grieving is not a straight line. The Dual Process Model explains that we naturally move between moments of sadness and moments of distraction. Both are necessary for healing.
Tip: Allow yourself to grieve, but also give yourself breaks when needed.
What to Do:
If you feel overwhelmed, do something small and manageable—a short walk, listening to music, or watching a comforting show.
Avoid numbing the pain with substances, excessive work, or avoidance.
Recognize that grief comes in waves—some days will be harder than others, and that’s normal.
💡 Example: If you find yourself crying for hours, try stepping outside for fresh air. It’s okay to return to grieving later.
Rituals and Memorialization Can Help With Closure
Source: Neimeyer, R. A. (2001). Meaning Reconstruction & the Experience of Loss.
Rationale:
Creating meaningful rituals after a loss helps with closure and emotional processing. This is why funerals and memorials exist—they help us process the loss in a structured way.
Tip: Find a way to honor your pet’s memory in a way that feels right for you.
What to Do:
Light a candle for them each night for a week.
Write a letter to your pet, thanking them for their companionship.
Plant a tree or flowers in their memory.
Donate to a pet rescue or shelter in their name.
💡 Example: Some people keep a small urn or locket with their pet’s ashes, while others prefer to scatter them in a favorite park.
Seek Support and Share Your Loss With Others
Source: Bonanno, G. A. (2009). The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss.
Rationale:
Studies show that talking about your grief with supportive people helps reduce long-term emotional distress. Keeping it bottled up can make the pain last longer.
Tip: Find at least one person who understands what you’re going through.
What to Do:
Join a pet loss support group (in-person or online).
Talk to a therapist or grief counselor if the pain feels overwhelming.
Share your favorite memories of your dog with friends or family.
💡 Example: Many veterinary clinics offer pet loss hotlines or support groups. The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB) provides free online support chats.
Understand That Guilt Is a Common but Unnecessary Emotion
Source: Adams, C. L., & Bonnett, B. N. (2001). Companion Animal Loss and Human Emotions: Exploring the Impact of Euthanasia Decision-Making.
Rationale:
Many pet owners struggle with guilt after euthanizing their dog. They wonder if they made the right choice or if they should have done more. Research shows that this is a normal but often irrational emotion—when a pet is suffering, euthanasia is an act of love.
Tip: Remind yourself that choosing to end suffering is the final gift of love.
What to Do:
When guilty thoughts arise, challenge them:
“I made this decision out of love, not selfishness.”
“They were in pain, and I helped them find peace.”
Talk to your vet—they can reassure you that it was the right choice.
💡 Example: Many people worry, "What if I did it too soon?" But it’s always better to give them a peaceful goodbye a little early rather than too late when suffering is unbearable.
Final Thoughts: Grief Means You Loved Deeply
Grieving the loss of a dog is painful, but it also means you shared a love so strong that it hurts to say goodbye. You don’t need to rush through it, and you don’t need to “move on” quickly.
Your dog will always be a part of you—not just in memory, but in the way they shaped your heart. In time, the sharp pain will soften, and what will remain is a deep gratitude for the love you shared.
💛 If you’re struggling, reach out. You are not alone in your grief. 💛
You Are Not Alone in Your Grief.
Losing a pet is losing a family member, and it’s okay to grieve deeply. At Phronetic Psychotherapy NY, we provide compassionate, evidence-based therapy to help individuals heal after pet loss. Whether you’re struggling with guilt, sadness, or loneliness, our experienced therapists can help you honor your pet’s memory while moving forward in a healthy way.
If you need support, we invite you to reach out and schedule a virtual pet loss grief counseling session.
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How Our Therapists at Phronetic Psychotherapy NY Can Help With Grieving a Pet Loss After Euthanasia: An Evidence-Based Guide
Losing a pet is a deeply emotional experience, and making the difficult decision to euthanize a beloved companion can bring a mix of grief, guilt, and profound sadness. At Phronetic Psychotherapy NY, we understand that pet loss is just as significant as losing a human loved one. Our therapists use evidence-based techniques to help individuals navigate the complexities of grief, offering compassionate and personalized support during this challenging time.
In this guide, we explore the emotional impact of pet loss, the grief process after euthanasia, and the therapeutic approaches our clinicians use to help clients heal.
Understanding Pet Loss Grief After Euthanasia
Pet loss grief, particularly following euthanasia, is unique because it often comes with a mix of emotions, including love, loss, guilt, and relief. Unlike human loss, which is widely recognized and mourned, grieving a pet is sometimes dismissed or minimized by others. This can make the grieving process feel isolating and invalidated.
The Emotional Impact of Euthanasia
Many pet owners experience:
Guilt: Wondering if they made the right decision or if they should have waited longer.
Relief: A sense of comfort knowing their pet is no longer suffering.
Depression: Feeling lost or empty without their pet’s presence.
Loneliness: Missing the daily routines and companionship their pet provided.
💡 At Phronetic Psychotherapy NY, we help clients process these emotions in a safe, supportive space, ensuring they feel validated and understood.
The Stages of Grief After Pet Euthanasia
Grief is not linear, and everyone experiences it differently. However, research by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1969) on the five stages of grief provides insight into the emotions many people go through:
Denial: Struggling to accept that your pet is gone.
Anger: Feeling frustration or resentment over the loss.
Bargaining: Wondering if there was something you could have done differently.
Depression: Feeling deep sadness, loneliness, and loss.
Acceptance: Finding peace with the loss while cherishing your pet’s memory.
🌿 Therapists at Phronetic Psychotherapy use grief counseling techniques to guide clients through these stages, offering personalized support at every step.
How Phronetic Psychotherapy NY Helps With Pet Loss Grief
At Phronetic Psychotherapy NY, our licensed therapists use evidence-based therapy approaches tailored to pet loss grief, ensuring clients receive compassionate, structured support. Here’s how we help:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Managing Grief and Guilt
CBT is an effective treatment for grief, particularly when feelings of guilt or regret are overwhelming.
How it works: We help clients identify and challenge irrational thoughts like “I should have done more” or “I failed my pet.”
Why it helps: Studies show that CBT can reduce grief-related distress and help individuals develop healthier coping mechanisms (Boelen et al., 2006).
🔹 Example: A therapist might help a client reframe their guilt by acknowledging that euthanasia was a selfless act to prevent their pet from suffering.
2. Narrative Therapy for Honoring Your Pet’s Memory
Narrative therapy allows clients to tell their pet’s story, keeping their memory alive in a meaningful way.
How it works: We encourage clients to write or talk about their pet’s life, reflecting on joyful memories rather than just the loss.
Why it helps: Research shows that storytelling can help process grief by creating a structured way to remember a loved one (Neimeyer, 2001).
🔹 Example: A therapist might suggest writing a letter to a pet, expressing love and gratitude for their time together.
3. Mindfulness and Acceptance-Based Therapy (ACT) for Coping With Loss
Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) help individuals embrace grief without becoming overwhelmed.
How it works: Clients learn mindfulness exercises to sit with their emotions without judgment.
Why it helps: Studies show that mindfulness-based interventions improve emotional regulation and reduce prolonged grief symptoms (Powers et al., 2009).
🔹 Example: A therapist might guide a client through a meditation focused on gratitude for the time they had with their pet.
4. Support Groups and Community Healing
Connecting with others who have experienced pet loss can be incredibly healing.
How it works: We offer group therapy and recommend pet loss support groups where clients can share their grief with others who understand.
Why it helps: Research suggests that grief support groups can reduce feelings of isolation and provide comfort (Krause et al., 2010).
🔹 Example: A client struggling with loneliness after pet loss might find solace in a virtual support group where they can share stories and healing strategies.
Practical Ways to Honor Your Pet’s Memory
While therapy can help process emotions, many people find comfort in rituals and memorials to honor their pet. Some ideas include:
Creating a photo album or scrapbook dedicated to your pet.
Planting a tree or flowers in their memory.
Wearing a memorial necklace with their paw print or ashes.
Writing a letter to them, expressing your love and gratitude.
💡 At Phronetic Psychotherapy NY, we encourage clients to find personal ways to keep their pet’s spirit alive.
When to Seek Professional Help for Pet Loss Grief
While grief is a natural process, some individuals struggle with prolonged or complicated grief that affects their daily lives. You may benefit from therapy if:
You feel stuck in deep sadness months after the loss.
You experience intense guilt that prevents you from moving forward.
You isolate yourself and avoid social interactions.
You have difficulty sleeping, eating, or functioning in daily life.
You feel that no one understands your pain.
If any of these symptoms sound familiar, our therapists at Phronetic Psychotherapy NY are here to help.
Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone in Your Grief.
Losing a pet is losing a family member, and it’s okay to grieve deeply. At Phronetic Psychotherapy NY, we provide compassionate, evidence-based therapy to help individuals heal after pet loss. Whether you’re struggling with guilt, sadness, or loneliness, our experienced therapists can help you honor your pet’s memory while moving forward in a healthy way.
If you need support, we invite you to reach out and schedule a virtual pet loss grief counseling session.
Our Therapists
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Clarice Fangzhou Hassan, LCSW
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Bingwan Liu, LCSW
We’re proud to offer not only high-quality therapy, but also a simple, stress-free process to get started with us.
We understand that taking the first step toward healing can feel overwhelming, and that's okay. We're here to support you every step of the way.
While you focus on the important work of griev and healing, let us take care of the rest—whether it’s scheduling your appointments or handling insurance details. You’re not alone in this journey, and we’re here to make the process as smooth and stress-free as possible.
Start Grief Counseling for Pet Loss Therapy in NY Today,
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