Bad Therapy Experiences: Signs Your Therapy Isn’t Working and What to Do
3 minute read
Therapy should help you feel supported, understood, and make progress toward personal growth. But if you feel stuck, judged, or like your therapist talks more about themselves than listening to you, it might not be working. Ask yourself: Do you feel heard? Are sessions productive? If your therapist forgets details, crosses boundaries, or leaves you feeling worse after each session, it may be time to reassess. Trust yourself—therapy should empower you, and if it’s not, finding a better fit can make all the difference.
Therapy should be a safe and productive space for growth, healing, and self-discovery. But not every therapy experience is a good one. Sometimes, therapy just doesn’t work—or worse, it becomes a negative experience. If you’re wondering whether your therapy is truly helping you, here are some signs that it might not be working and examples of bad therapy experiences to watch out for.
Signs That Your Therapy Isn’t Working
You Feel Stuck or See No Progress – If you’ve been in therapy for months and don’t feel any different, it may not be effective. While therapy takes time, you should see some improvements, like increased self-awareness or better coping skills.
Your Therapist Talks More About Themselves Than You – Therapy is about you, not your therapist. If you notice that your therapist frequently shifts the conversation to their own life, like Mary, who felt her therapist was always talking about her own experiences instead of listening, that’s a red flag.
You Feel Judged or Invalidated – Your therapist should create a supportive, non-judgmental space. If you often feel criticized, dismissed, or like your feelings aren’t taken seriously, therapy may be doing more harm than good.
Your Therapist Pushes Their Own Beliefs on You – A good therapist helps you explore your thoughts and feelings without forcing their personal opinions. If you feel pressured to adopt their views on relationships, religion, or politics, this is a sign of bias and unprofessionalism.
You Leave Feeling Worse Every Session – Therapy can be challenging, but you should still feel supported. If every session leaves you feeling drained, anxious, or hopeless without any sense of progress, it may not be the right fit.
Your Therapist Doesn’t Remember Important Details – If your therapist repeatedly forgets key details about your life, such as past sessions, major life events, or important struggles, it can make you feel unheard and unimportant.
Your Therapist Crosses Boundaries – Professional boundaries matter. If your therapist asks you for favors, overshares about their personal life, or makes you uncomfortable in any way, that’s a major red flag.
You Feel Like You Can’t Be Honest – Therapy should be a place where you can speak freely. If you feel like you need to hide your true thoughts or experiences out of fear of judgment, it’s a sign that the therapeutic relationship isn’t working.
Examples of Bad Therapy Experiences
John’s therapist kept checking their phone during sessions. John felt unheard and unimportant, and his therapist’s distractions made it hard to open up.
Sarah’s therapist pressured her to stay in a toxic relationship. Instead of helping Sarah explore her options, her therapist insisted she work things out despite her feeling unsafe.
Michael felt like his therapist gave vague or unhelpful advice. Instead of practical coping strategies, he only received generic statements like “just be positive.”
Emily noticed her therapist forgot what they talked about every week. She had to repeat herself constantly, making sessions feel frustrating and unproductive.
What to Do if Therapy Isn’t Working
If you feel like therapy isn’t helping, it’s okay to address your concerns. Here are some steps you can take:
Bring It Up with Your Therapist – If you’re comfortable, discuss your concerns and see if adjustments can be made.
Try a Different Approach – Not all therapies work for everyone. Consider exploring different types of therapy, such as CBT, existential therapy, or EMDR.
Find a New Therapist – If your therapist isn’t a good fit, it’s okay to switch. Finding the right therapist can make all the difference.
Trust Your Instincts – If you consistently feel like therapy isn’t benefiting you, it’s a sign to seek change.
Final Thoughts
Therapy should be a place where you feel supported, heard, and empowered. If your therapist isn’t meeting your needs or making you feel uncomfortable, trust yourself—it’s okay to seek a better fit. The right therapist is out there, and finding them can make all the difference in your healing journey.